“Eleven more hours until school starts… I guess I’ll just lie down and stare at the ceiling” and so I did. I just let myself fall down on the bed with my legs hanging over its edge and stared at the white ceiling. “Huh? It’s changing colours? It’s turning purple now… It looks just like the sky back then… back then? When was that? Eh? Déjà-vu? How can it be… Now that I think about it I wasn’t like that before… I started changing ever since… Ever since… when? Changing? What am I thinking about… I am the same as always… right?”
“Who are you trying to deceive? Yourself? You’ve fallen deeper than I thought you would!”
“Why would you say that? Who are you anyway!? How can you say such things if you don’t know me? Why would I have fallen? Where do you see me fallen? I’m as high as always… As close to the sky as always…”
“Who are you trying to fool? Look at you… disgusting… can’t you realize? You’re frozen!”
“Who are you? Show yourself… Rose!?”
“Why did you become like this? You weren’t like this back then…”
“Rose? Rose! Why’d you say this? I don’t understand!”
“You don’t or you don’t want to, Roy?”
“Eh? Roi? What’s wrong… why…”
“Stop it! Can’t you see it? You’re frozen… Aren’t you cold enough?”
“Cold? Now that you mention it, I really am cold… too cold… ah, now I remember… this cold purple sky… but it’s no longer distant… it’s close… or I’m close to it; too close… so close that… we’re the same…” Suddenly a water drop woke me. I stood up, turned on the light and looked at my watch – 5.45 a.m. I slept enough… Eh? Tears? Why are the tears overflowing? I don’t even feel anything… I guess that the weird dream is the cause… I’d better wash my face before anyone else wakes up…
“Morning!”
“Good morning, Roy! How was your holiday?” Roi asked with a huge smile on his face.
“Not better than yours as I see” I grinned.
“Eh? I never said how my holiday was!”
“You’re really slow aren’t you? Seriously, it’s written all over your face – especially on that huge happy smile.”
“Heh… no one’s better than you at reading people, are they?”
“You just don’t know enough people, that is all. So? Are you going to tell me what happened?”
“You really want to know?”
“Well, sure. Of course I want to know what made my friend so happy.”
“Do you remember that some time ago you asked me about my girlfriend? To tell you the truth, back then we weren’t on such good terms… we had a fight… and I was really depressed, but thanks to you I was ok in no time, and I really want to thank you for that!”
“Well, I’m doing what I can.” I said and I can bet I got all red.
“Anyway… this holiday we got back together! So I really am happy right now!”
“Oooh! Nice for you! So, will you introduce me to her?”
“Nope. I’m afraid she’ll like you more than me” he said with mocking tone.
“That’s certainly true. At least tell me her name”
“Why not… She has a very beautiful name: Rosy Fray”
“Eh?” I looked at him surprised. Rose? No wait… he said Rosy… It can’t be her. Also, she didn’t say what her surname is.
“Rosy? What name is that…”
“Huh? I said Rosy? Sorry… how embarrassing… I call her Rosy… Her name is Rose. Rose Fray”
“Wow…” maybe it is her… Or I’m just paranoid.
“Wow what?”
“Nice name” I laughed. ”Now I really want to meet her”
“Is that a threat?” he smiled widely.
“It depends… Maybe I like her” I laughed again.
“Maybe not.”
§§§§§
The first day of school was over. “It was fun! I knew that if I’m alone I start thinking about stupid things… Roi’s presence cheered me up…” I was thinking while going to the café again. It wasn’t like I was expecting Rose to show up again, but I had gone there so often that it became a daily routine. I went in and sat at a random table and ordered a <<3 in 1>>. I picked a book from the café’s library (this was added short after I had met Rose; there were many good books and I really liked their collection. I had never thought of reading as an alternative for TV or PC because I never liked the books my teachers made me read, but I found authors I really liked there) and started reading. Time passed more quickly than usually while I was in another universe, so I was quite surprised when the light purple sky became all of a sudden a dark purple night sky. I put the book on the shelf, paid the bill and headed for the exit. I stretched my hand to reach the door handle when it suddenly opened hitting my head. I lost my balance and almost fell down when a firm hand caught me by my hand and put me back on my feet. I looked up disoriented still dizzy, my head aching badly.
“Sorry” the guy apologized.
“Don’t worry, it was just my inattentiveness, so I’m sorry.” Wait…that voice is really familiar…
“Eh?! Roy!” So it was him!
“Roi! Fancy seeing you here! What are you doing in this neighborhood? I’m sure you said you live on the other side of the town…”
“Oh, my girlfriend said she really liked this café so we came here. Oh, right - Roy, this is my girlfriend, Rose. Rose, this is my friend…”
I looked behind Roi and saw her: Rose was standing next to him and was looking at me surprised, even scared. As soon as Roi turned his glance at me she started making signs – waving her hands, crossing them, shaking her head – but I wasn’t sure what she meant. I was ready to speak up as if we were old acquaintances but she suddenly came to me and shook my hand:
“Nice to meet you! I’m Rose”
Only then did I understand – she didn’t want Roi to know we had met. I played her game:
“Me too! I’m Roy. Um… I was going home now…”
“Eh? Don’t rush, you can stay! I’ve meant to introduce you two to each other for a while now...”
“I still have homework to do. And I wouldn’t like to spoil your date! Oh yeah, here’s my number Rose.– I wrote my phone number on a piece of paper and gave it to her – In case this guy makes you cry, call me and I’ll smack him” I laughed.
“That was uncalled for!” said Roi getting red all the way to his ears.
“Ok, then. I’ll get going, see you guys soon!” and I hurried out before they could even say a word. Rose?! Why did the girl I had been so obsessed with for the past two months have to be my best friend’s girlfriend?! This so not fair! Why… Why… why am I so angry? I kept running at full speed. I didn’t know where I was going nor did I think about it… I just wanted to… run away… to… warm myself… but I was getting colder and colder… I couldn’t bear it… I just wanted to become unseen… to disappear from this world…
Suddenly a blinding light accompanied by a deafening sound startled me and I turned my head to the right … In just a fraction of a second I understood… My life was going to its next stage…a car… a road… and movie like sound and visual effects… “Sorry… guess… cold…”
§§§§§
Sunset... the sun was halved by the horizon: half belonged to the unseen abyss, half was marking the glorious finale of this world with colour – painting the blue sky. The view was disturbing; an unknown feeling was entrapping me like a rose that grew from my chest wrapping around myself completely, piercing me with its thorns but blossoming beautiful rose buds.
I looked above, getting my eyes away from the sunset. This part of the sky was painted with an infinite of blue nuances. From my chin to the top of my head the vault of heaven gained darker nuances. This new image put out the fire of the previous feeling, obliging the rose to withdraw.
I closed my eyes and let myself fall backwards. Whilst falling, I turned 180 degrees and I opened my eyes to the abyss under. Time was flowing slowly... <>. The thought sickened me so I gently shook my head to push it out of my mind and then, bit by bit, I opened my wings. They slowed down my falling leaving behind a mini- Milky Way made of feathers whiter than snow and fluffier than fluff itself. I looked down once again: abyss. With a quick move I wrapped my wings around my body and I let myself fall like a heavy rock, closing my eyes. The falling speed surpassed light speed. I waited what seemed to me like a millennium until I realized that I had reached it…
I unwrapped my wings. I wanted to see my new world… Before opening my eyes I ran my previous world’s film in my mind… I’ll miss it… but I’m certainly glad I escaped from that cold cage… eh? The cage was cold? No… me! I was cold! But then, did I get warmer? But… I don’t feel it… I don’t feel anything… cold, nor warm… But why? Why did it have to reach this? Because I liked a girl? Liked… more like… obsessed… Huh… so I had to leave my world just for an obsession? What a joke… Hmm… so I really was like that sky… cold…and distant… meant never to meet warmth… and to be ever a purple, night sky… but I really wish to have met it… meet what? Hm... guess I’m taking too long, it’s time… to leave everything behind… and move on!
§§§§§
I opened my eyes. First thing I understood – I didn’t know where I was. I tried to stand up but my back was in so much pain that I fell back. What happened? Where am I? I couldn’t think of anything. A nurse came running to me: “Are you ok? Does anything hurt? Of course it hurts; you were hit by a car. But are you alright? Do you need anything?” I started laughing:
“You really are talkative, Mrs.….?”
“Miss Thompson. You are Roy Hawking, you remember? And how can you be so rude when I’m worried about you? Learn some manners!”
“Ok, ok! I’m sorry!” I said, still laughing. “Nice to meet you, Miss Thompson.”
“Nice to meet you too. So, I’m going to tell the doctor that you’re awake, so please stay still, alright?”
“I can’t even move because of the pain so, ok” I shouted to her while she was running away, to make sure she hears me.
Afterwards I learned what happened to me. It seems that while I was running aimlessly, I tried to cross a street while it was still red and even stopped in the middle of the street. My parents were sued and they even had to pay for the car repair. I got into hospital in a coma, with most of my ribs broken, and with a leg (left one) and hand (right one) also broken. I had to stay for two weeks in hospital. Roi visited me several times, but he left soon enough. I didn’t tell him anything about my “obsession” as I had already got past it and there was no point in telling him anything. Curious about how I got past it? Ok, I’ll tell you.
One day, while I was in hospital (I could already sit) Rose came to see me. I was thinking that I’d be really excited to see her…but… she sat there and smiled at me… a sad smile; I could see that she really pitied me. I didn’t need her pity! I wanted to tell her to leave the room. It wasn’t her pity that I needed! Didn’t want… but I couldn’t chase her away. All of a sudden she started speaking:
“How are you?”
“As you can see, I am doing very well! The bandages are just for show…”
“I see you didn’t lose your sense of humor” she laughed. “Hey…”
“Mm?”
“Thanks for not telling Roi that we had met… It… really means a lot to me…”
“Why? Why don’t you want Roi to know about it?” I asked a bit accusative. She started laughing… a very sad laugh.
“Me and Roi have known each other since childhood. Although I am older than him, I was able to see how he became a man. And a man of trust… I just couldn’t help falling in love with him… But then, he left back to Germany because of his father’s business. I really missed him. We were around… 12 years old and then, last year, he finally came back. Do you know the first thing he did when we met again?”
“What?”
“He said: who are you?” she tried to mimic Roi’s voice and then started laughing.
“So like him!” I laughed too.
“But do you know what he said then?” she asked with a melancholy tone, looking at the window, but seeing the past. “<
> When he said that my heartbeat increased… it was beating so hard that it hurt. Tears overflowed and I hugged him tightly… He then took my chin in his palm and turned my face to him. He wiped my tears and said: <> but he certainly knew… he kissed me! A kiss so sweet that I never wanted to let go of it. I wanted us to remain like that… to become an everlasting painting…” She smiled a very warm smile. So different from the one she had when pitying me. So that was the difference between me and him… why I was so jealous of Roi… men are skies… but they need a sun to warm them up. He already had it… a sun of his own! When I realized this all my jealousy turned into respect… and admiration!“Wow… you really love Roi, don’t you?” I smiled very warmly at her. “I hope he’ll make you happy! You deserve it!”
She blushed and turned to the other side so that I won’t see it… but she was really transparent.
“I still haven’t told you the reason why I didn’t want you to tell Roi about it. Do you remember that night when we met? We had a fight and I slipped meeting you, and he got really annoyed and then…”
“Halt! Halt! Keep your horses! I’m so not interested in this. But, I’m telling you this so that you know: Roi was really down when I met him and was so for a whole while. I think that you can understand why. Anyway, just forgive him!”
“I’ve already done it” she laughed.”Anyway, thanks for listening and I hope that you’ll get better soon. Well, if you have so much energy in you, I bet it’ll take shorter for you to get well” She smiled (a happy smile this time) and I smiled back at her. “Ok then, I got to go. See you soon!”
“Yeah, see you!”
I was really happy after she left. I don’t know why, but I had reached a higher level in understanding life… I felt better.
“Your girlfriend?” said Miss Thompson suddenly appearing from behind a curtain.
“No!” I laughed.”Anyway, Miss Thompson, it isn’t right to “overhear” someone’s conversation!”
“Don’t worry, I wasn’t listening. I just came in, but you were lost in your thoughts and didn’t hear me coming. If she is not your girlfriend, then…?”
“She’s my best friend’s girlfriend… Well, I have to admit, I had feelings for her too”
“You had? Not anymore?”
“Not anymore.”
“Why?”
“It’s a long story. You don’t want to hear the revelations of a teenager over love.”
“Did the accident have anything to do with it?”
“Um… it kind of did?”
“Then it concerns me”
“You are really sneaky” I laughed. “Why would it concern you if the accident had anything to do with it?”
“Well, I was the one who had to take care of you for two weeks after it, so I think you owe me at least an explanation…”
“Annoying and convincing. Men’s worst enemy” I said while laughing. Then, I suddenly got serious and begun my tale: “These are the words she told me when I first met her... of course, <> was what she told me I was. But since then I became infatuated with her. She has been on my mind every single second of my daily life ever since. I wouldn’t call it love... more like an obsession.”
“Obsession? Why not love?”
“Love is something deep... a real feeling. When you love, there must be a second person involved – you must think about that person also, but in a certain way. You must want for that person the best of this world. While in my obsession, I could only think about myself – I wanted to see her, I wanted her to be with me. This is not a real feeling. This is just something that flies away with the first strong wind...”
“Oh, I see what you mean...”
“But then, I met someone else too, someone who became my best friend. But, although I really liked him, I also hated him. He wasn’t better than me a school, or sports... but had something... something I didn’t have. Although at first he was mostly sad, I could see it. He was warm. I was cold. We were exact opposites. And then, one day, he introduced me to his girlfriend – the one I had been infatuated with for more than 2 months. I was angry. I was sad. I was tired... tired of life. After I left them, I started running aimlessly. I didn’t care where I would get”
“And then you had that accident?”
“Yeah.”
“Wow... I had forgotten how being a teenager is” the nurse laughed.
“Yeah, it’s really hard. But one can manage if he evolves steadily, can’t one?”
“Wow, you know your things. But one more thing: why did you give up on...that girl?”
“I think I told you about the difference between obsession – or passion, as it is often called - and love” I laughed.
“You did tell me, but usually you give up much easily on “love” than on “passions” as in love you want the person you love to have “the best of the world” as you said it.”
“Hm... I think I have realised that I don’t want to be stuck with this. The accident made me realise something: I want someone for myself that would tell me: <<If you are the cold sky, then let me be the sun that warms you!>>”
The End
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Ok, folks, this is it!!! it's been a long time(September to March - 7 months) Thanks a lot for staying with me for so long!! I hope I haven't wasted you time and that y'all understood what I meant. Anyway, thanks a lot and I hope you will be just as supportive with my next project!
Daniel
