Concurs (cu mine insumi) sau Alter Ego

Ridic pixul la nivelul ochilor într-o încercare de a-l studia. Lumina orbitoare a lămpii diametral opusă faţă de pix nu mă orbeşte, obiectul fiindu-mi păvază. Totuşi, semiumbra produsă nu-mi permite să îmi duc la îndeplinire planul, obiectul din mâna mea nefiind altceva decât o pată difuză de culoare – un roşu a cărui amploare este estompata de bezna negrului ce îl limitează la capete. Imaginea generală este de o obscuritate ce doare, la propriu, motiv pentru care cobor pixul pe masă, fără să-i dau drumul.

Ce făceam? A, da! Am nevoie de o idee... dar ce să fie? Stau de mai bine de o oră şi încă nu am făcut nimic... Aşteptarea acelui suflu divin asupra minţii mele menit să mă trasforme într-un instrument al genezei este un adevărat chin metafizic. Aş vrea să fiu altundeva...

Îmi aşez bărbia-n palmă lăsându-mi gâtul să se odihnească de la efortul de a-mi ţine capul îngreunat de gânduri - din păcate nu de idei. Las pleoapele obosite să-mi acopere globul ocular, deşi ştiam că somnul mă va cuceri dacă îngădui asta. 

Deodată simt o briză revigorantă, ce aduce cu sine un miros pregnant de peşte gătit şi orez fiert, amestecat cu obişnuitele sunete urbane ale maşinilor şi ale mulţimii de oameni. Deschid leneş ochii pentru a vedea bâlciul colorat de bannerele pestriţe atârnate de fiecare bucăţica liberă a construcţilori de diverse înălţimi şi cu variate funcţii - de la magazine îngrămădite la parter şi locuinţe cu un singur etaj până la clădiri de birouri tip zgârie nori, de la maşinile personale şi cele de tonaj mare, şi de la oameni mici şi gălbejiţi cu păr negru sau castaniu, îmbrăcaţi în costume cu sacou şi cravată, salopete de lucru sau uniforme şcolare(doar pe ici pe colo câte unul blond, cu pretenţii de rapper sau rocker). Acasă nu vezi aşa de des această realitate „mitizatã” de industrie dar care arată întrutotul farmecul megalopolisurilor. Taxiul înaintează cu viteza melcului turbat pe strada arhiplină, încât gândul că un somn binemeritat până la destinaţie nu e ceva prea ireal. Dar totul se pune în mişcare şi autovehicolul prinde o viteză la care nici nu am îndrăznit să visez în jumătatea de oră cât am stat în el. Strada - ce mi se părea interminabilă şi ea - coteşte neaşteptat şi în faţa ochilor mi se desfăşoară o privelişte ce, deşi mă aşteptam să o văd odată şi odată, mă uimeşte. În mijlocul unei jungle de beton şi metal o oază verde ce degajă un sentiment ce-mi aduce aminte de casă; un cuvânt mi se conturează din ce în ce mai mult în minte: tradiţional. În mijlocul grãdinii cu cireşi japonezi proaspăt înfloriţi ce întrepătrund rozul de pe crengile întortocheate cu verdele ce-i înconjoară, se înalţă o clădire tipic asiatică, ce la prima vedere am zis că-i o pagodă. Dar, nu tocmai spre uimirea mea, taxiul opreşte în faţa porţilor, ceea ce-mi adevereşte bănuiala că aceast monument este însuşi KKookkyyoo, palatul imperial. Plătesc taximetristului şi îi spun „Arigato”, dar imediat mă înroşesc când văd că acesta se uită amuzat la mine - presupun că l-am stâlcit sau ceva... Nu pot să nu observ cât de frig este şi-mi strâng fularul mai bine. De ce oare e aşa frig, când sunt pe o insulă(deci în mijlocul oceanului) care e şi aproape de ecuator... bizar. 

Deschid ochii. Nu... nu merge. Dacă mă voi apuca să scriu o a doua variantă la Călătoriile unui romancier în jurul lumii acesta va fi numai bun. Ah, ce cald e! De asta nu-mi place luna mai! Exact când crezi că mai rău nu se poate după frigul din iarnă, vin valurile calorice. Din nou, atenţia mi-e acaparatã de pix. Îl deschid, îl închid. Îl deschid, îl închid. Ritmicitatea mă fascinează şi îmi aduce aminte de melodia lui Van Morrison, Moon Dance. Includ şi degetul, bătând în masă astfel încât melodia să capete un contur cât mai bun. Moon Dance... Drăguţă melodia... o atmosferă feerică şi versuri magice. Hahaha! Cum să n... Rotiţele iar se pun în funcţiune, dar de data asta văd un... 

Apus... soarele era tăiat în jumătate de orizont: jumătate aparţinea abisului nevăzut ochiului, jumătate mai marca încă gloriosul (şi totodată jalnicul) final al acestei lumi cu jocuri de culori pe cerul albastru. Priveliştea era tulburătoare; un sentiment necunoscut mă captiva ca un trandafir ce creştea din piept şi mă înfăşura complet, înţepându-mă cu spinii săi, inflorind boboci de roze. Mi-am dat capul pe spate, îndepărtandu-mi ochii de apus. Cerul de deasupra era un tablou pictat dintr-un infinit de nuanţe de albastru; dinspre bărbie spre creştetul capului bolta cereasca căpăta nuanţe din ce în ce mai întunecate... Această nouă imagine stingea încetul cu încetul sentimentul anterior, obligând trandafirul să se retragă, acoperindu-l cu o pace cvasi neliniştitoare.

Am închis ochii şi m-am lăsat să cad pe spate... În plină cădere am făcut o întoarcere de 180 de grade şi am deschis ochii către abisul dedesubt. Timpul trecea lent... m-am gândit că asta simt sinucigaşii când se aruncă de la înalţime... gândul m-a revoltat, aşa că mi-am scuturat uşor capul pentru a mi-l elibera de această idee stupidă şi încetul cu încetul mi-am deschis aripile. Acestea au încetinit viteza de cădere, lăsând în urma lor o mini cale-lactee din pene mai albe ca zăpada şi mai pufoase ca norii. Am privit din nou în jos... încă 10 metri până la contactul cu pământul... încă nu. Înca 5... înca 4.... acum! Cu o mişcare rapidă mi-am înfăşurat aripile în jurul corpului şi m-am lăsat să cad ca o piatra de moară. Am vizualizat în minte porţiunea de pământ unde aveam să cad şi încetul cu încetul am transformat-o într-o gaura de vierme. Am continuat să număr... 3...2...1...0! Mi-am ţinut respiraţia anticipând 2 opţiuni: izbirea violentă de

pământ sau succesul. Am aşteptat ceea ce mi s-a părut un mileniu până ce mi-am dat seama că operaţiunea fusese un succes! Portalul a fost deschis şi trecusem prin el.

Mi-am desfaşurat aripile şi cu o mişcare bruscă le-am strâns pentru a avea o privelişte clară asupra noii mele lumi! 

E destul de bun pentru un începător. Nu strică să încerc, dar nu vreau să mă risc, bazându-mă pe noroc, când eu însumi pot face ceva. Dar ce? O întrebare filosofică, sau pretext de amânare a deciziei. Acum mă autoironizez... Serios, mai bine mă eliberez de gânduri inutile şi monologuri blazate împănate cu clişee de ieri şi de azi. Dar tot nu renunţ! Din nimic să am idei? Wow, ce idee genială... de ce mă chinui?! 

Continuă să alerge. Dar stătea în loc. În stânga sa, recuzita şcolară, plantele, persoanele erau doar culori ce goneau, proiectate de-a lungul vastului alb al peretului. În stânga sa, cerul albastru, cu doar câţiva nori plutind pe acel plan nesfârşit era stilizat in geamuri. Această beţie de culori din stânga şi albastrul celest îl ameţeau de-a dreptul, dar continuă să alerge înainte. Din faţă se apropia cu repeziciune capătul peretului. „După colţ... după colţ... de data asta o să-i spun!” Se opri din alergat, se lăsă în voia inerţiei şi alunecă. Întinse mâna dreaptă spre perete pentru a se opri, întorcându-se cu faţa spre capătul scărilor. Nici nu se oprise bine că începu din nou să alerge, pe scări de data aceasta, sărind câte doua trepte. Ajuns la etajul al treilea, alergă pe coridor dar încetă pe la jumătatea drumului deoarece ar fi putut fi văzut prin geamurile din clasa a X-a A ce dădeau spre hol. Începu să meargă încet, liniştit, încercând să mascheze faptul că respira greu prin tusea repetatã, până ce îşi reveni. Îşi reprimă orice emoţie de pe chip (involuntar) şi îşi ţinu umerii cât mai sus pentru a părea cât mai impunător. Aruncă o privire scurtă în geamul alăturat pentru a vedea dacă îi stă bine frizura şi mai tuşi odată pentru a-şi verifica respiraţia. Duse odată mâna de-a lungul gulerului cămăşii pentru a-l aranja şi deschise încă un nasture pentru a se asigura că i se vede tricoul stacojiu cu dungi orizontale de aceeaşi culoare cu blugii – un albastru închis. Ultimul geam. Se uită din nou în treacăt la păr şi duse uşor mâna la cap pentru a-l aranja, dar părând că se scarpină. Ajunse la uşă şi tot ce trebui să facă era să se posteze în partea stânga. Şi Lisa apăru din clasă cu o faţă entuziasmată. - Jeff! Ce faci! Cu ce ocazie? A, da! Mi-a plăcut melodia de la concurs! Ai o voce super! - Mulţumesc. Mda... deci, tata m-a rugat să-ţi dau asta, spuse băiatul sec şi îi dădu fetei o carte. Aceasta se posomorî pentru o clipă, pentru ca apoi să-şi recapete lumina de pe chip. - Mulţumesc mult! Îmi pare rău că a trebuit să cobori tu, aş fi putut veni eu sus! spuse aceasta cu o voce mai liniştită şi îi zâmbi băiatului. Apropo, drăguţă cămaşa! zise fata zâmbind larg dupa care îi întoarse spatele băiatului şi se îndreptă spre locul ei. Ne mai vedem! exclamă întorcând capul, dupa care îşi continuă „drumul” spre bancă.

Băiatul se uită la ea şi murumură un „Ok” abia perceptibil după care se întoarse în clasă, fără să alerge, cu o faţă uşor dezamăgită. Din nou, doar culori apăreau de-a lungul pereţilor albi, dar care de data aceasta nu goneau ci aproape stăteau în loc în timp ce el părea că aleargă. Intră în clasa goală şi se aşeză în banca sa. Îşi luă carţile şi caietele din bancă şi le puse in geantă. Ridică geanta şi îi displăcu greutatea acesteia. Murmura „prea uşor” şi îşi continuă drumul spre ieşirea din şcoală. La plecare se întâlni din nou cu Lisa, dar doar îi dădu din cap absent si se îndepărta ţinând geanta pe umăr cu un singur deget. Îşi întoarse capul odată doar pentru a se asigura că ea nu se uită, fapt ce se dovedi fals - ea se uita exact la el. Îşi întoarse capul repede şi mări pasul. Ajuns la poartă se mai uită odată, cu colţul ochiului. De data aceasta Lisa nu mai era acolo. Merse tot înainte, aproape indignat. Îi voia atenţia. O voia doar pentru el. Dar cum putea să o acapareze dacă abia putea scoate un cuvant de faţă cu ea? Un singur lucru era de facut: „Trebuie doar să ma creez din nou” 

Da, asta trebuie să fac. Să mă reinventez. Acum, creaţia este însuşi creatorul transfigurat artistic, atunci pentru o creaţie nouă este necesarã şi schimbarea creatorului. A modului de gândire. Ceva nou! Dacă... 

- Ce?! ~ cel puţin aşa aş fi vrut să ţip surprinsă dar, ca de obicei, nu mi-am lăsat emoţiile la suprafaţă – nici un sunet/expresie facială nu păru să trădeze şocul pe care îl trăiam în momentul acela. Totuşi, uitându-mă la Claude, am observat că nici el nu arăta vreo emoţie. Doar un zâmbet jovial, care părea aproape batjocoritor. Deci nu era serios… Atunci de ce oare ma întrebat asa ceva? În general, nu am avut de-a face unul cu celălalt dar puteam zice că ştiam de existenţa lui. Mamele noastre au fost colege şi înca sunt prietene, dar trebuie menţionat că ultima dată când vorbisem cu el a fost când înca era în şcoala noastră… era in clasa a 8-a parcă... iar eu într-a 6-a. Şi chiar Şi atunci, singura interacţiune pe care am avut-o cu el a fost când una din colegele mele de clasă era ameninţată de cineva… şi se pare că ea era iubita lui… Oricum, de atunci nu am mai vorbit niciodata. Iar când a intrat la liceu s-a dus la altă şcoală. Din când în când îl mai văd cu diferite fete pe stradă (pentru că, se pare că învaţă la liceul teoretic “Miron Costin”, care e foarte aproape de casa mea). Niciodată nu ne-am salutat pe stradă şi am observat că de fapt el nu mă recunoaştea. Oricum, nici eu nu m-aş mai recunoaşte… au trecut 3 ani, timp în care eu m-am mai înălţat puţin şi pot spune ca am devenit mai “draguţă” sau “frumoasă” chiar… dar şi el s-a schimbat mult. E mult mai înalt decât mine iar părul negru-tăciune şi l-a lăsat să crească şi-l poartă într-o parte, peste faţă. Îmi aminteşte de o frizură emo, doar ceva mai moderată, plus că expresia lui facială şi modul în care se poarta nu aratău cât de puţin că ar aparţine acestui “cult”.

Oricum, de ce mă întreabă aşa, din senin? Stăteam pur şi simplu pe o bancă pe marginea bulevardului Alexandru cel Bun, vis-à-vis de Minerva, citind o carte (era o zi foarte frumoasă şi voiam să aud zgomot – părinţii nu erau acasă, iar eu nu suportam liniştea din casă), când deodată îmi aud numele, si, spre surprinderea mea îl văd venind spre mine. Hmm… luând în calcul toate acestea, este evident că nu vorbea serios. Probabil că era vorba de vreo glumă… sau de vreun joc pierdut de Adevăr sau Provocare. Mda... să zicem. Hai să-i fac jocul...

- De ce nu? şi i-am zâmbit cât mai cald cu putinţă, si, ca de obicei, fals. Zâmbetul i se lărgi puţin şi pentru un moment am avut impresia că nuanţa de superioritate/batjocură dispăruse, făcându-l să crească oarecum în ochii mei. Dar… să fim serioşi…

- Atunci, sâmbătă e ok pentru prima dată? zise el într-o încercare (eşuată la propriu, deoarece nu avea de unde şti că îmi place să observ şi să înţeleg oamenii şi acţiunile lor) de a părea entuziasmat.

- E ok. Pe la ce oră şi unde?

- Păi... de obicei la ce oră te trezeşti? întrebă el şi izbucni în râs(acesta nu era fals, dar se simţea o nuanţă de luat în derâdere în el).

- Depinde, i-am zâmbit eu. Cateodata la 10, alteori la 8, uneori deloc. Deci, alege tu!

- Hmm... e 2 bine? E încă primăvară, deci nu va fi foarte cald, ci numai bine. Să nu uiţi să-ţi pui ceasul să sune! spuse şi începu să râdă grobian.

- E foarte bine, am replicat încercând să par ruşinată. Unde?

- Piaţa Unirii? Putem merge prin Copou, să ne odihnim la Avant-garde...

- Ok, nu mă deranjează…

- Bine atunci. Ne vedem atunci? zâmbi el larg.

- Atunci şi acolo! i-am întors eu zâmbetul, făcându-l să pară oarecum timid. Atunci mi-a trecut prin minte – cât de ipocriţi putem fi amândoi… Oare chiar mă crede sub nivelul lui de inteligenţă?!

Claude zâmbi din nou, se întoarse şi plecă. Am zăbovit o clipă uitându-mă la spatele lui larg, îndepărtându-se, după care am închis cartea – se pare că nu o închisesem pe parcursul discuţiei noastre -, am pus-o în geanta tip mesager (de culoare alb-crem cu viţă de vie albastră răsucindu-se pe ea), mi-am aşezat-o după gât şi am dat să mă îndrept spre casă. Deodată Claude mă prinse de braţ şi mă trase dupa el înspre blocuri.

- Ce faci?! am intrebat eu pe un ton panicat, deşi eram relativ calmă. - Linişteşte-te şi urmează-mă te rog! şopti el pe un ton rugător – ciudat, nu părea fals deloc- încet, dar îndeajuns de tare cât să-l pot auzi.

Imediat ce am intrat printre blocuri şi zarva bulevardului nu se mai auzea, lăsă mâna să-i alunece de-a lungul braţului şi mă prinse de mână gentil, strângând-o usor, astfel încât să fie sigur că nu-mi voi smulge mâna din a lui. Spre surprinderea mea, am strâns mâna care mă ţinea, lipindu-mi palma stângă de a lui. El tresări aproape inobservabil, dar continuă să meargă repede. Oare unde mă ducea? Apoi mi-am amintit… undeva printre blocurile acestea exista unul care nu a fost terminat şi numai parterul era făcut. Oricum, era abandonat încă de pe vremea lui Ceauşescu. Cred că acolo mă duce… Şi chiar aşa a fost. Claude mă conduse printre coloanele de ciment până fu sigur că nu mai puteam fi vazuţi. Oare de câte ori mai făcuse asta? Părea destul de sigur pe el… dar gândurile îmi fură întrerupte de modul violent în care îşi smulse mâna dintr-a mea şi totul se petrecu într-o secundă: se postă în faţa mea, îşi puse mainile pe umerii mei, mă împinse în zid, îşi lua mâna stângă de pe umărul meu şi prinse mâna mea dreapta pe care o pironi de zid puţin deasupra capului meu, îşi ridică mâna dreaptă şi mâ prinse de bărbie. Totul se petrecu atât de repede încât nici nu am avut timp să protestez. Faţa băiatului era atât de aproape de a mea că abia îl mai puteam vedea clar. Avea ochii închişi, iar părul lui destul de lung căzu pe fruntea mea. Dar atunci am realizat: buzele îi erau lipite de ale mele, într-un sărut moale. Uimită, un şir de reacţii involuntare se declanşară, lucru ce era practic imposibil pentru mine: mintea mi se înceţoşă, faţa mi se înroşi şi gura se deschise uşor. La această (pen)ultimă reacţie (care de fapt era o simplă deschidere, crăpare, aş putea spune, a buzelor), tânarul cu păr de tăciune deschise ochii – care trădau o oarecare uimire- dar nu ezită să înţeleaga această deschidere a gurii drept o invitaţie (evident, interpretare cât se putea de greşită, dar destul de fericită pentru el ) şi fară să-şi fi dezlipit buzele vreun moment de ale mele, continuă momentul erotic prin explorarea senzuală a fiecărui colţişor al cavitaţii mele bucale, creându-mi o stare somnambulică aproape – mintea parcă dormea în timp ce corpul se mişca de unul singur. Mâna stângă se ridică şi se aşeză pe ceafa lui, mângâindu-i într-un mod sălbatic părul, ţinându-i capul să nu se departeze…

Totul dură o eternitate… dar prea puţin. Îşi îndepărtă buzele de ale mele, zâmbi cu tandreţe – deşi nu mai puteam judeca clar: era unul fals, sau adevărat? mintea-mi era complet zăpacită -, se aplecă din nou şi-mi sărută buzele - dar numai le atinse şi se trase înapoi puţin, zâmbind din nou.

- Pe sâmbătă! exclamă el oarecum voios şi se îndepărtă.

Eu nu m-am mişcat. Nu mai respiram. Nici un muşchi nu tremura. Toate funcţiile corpului încetaseră, doar senzaţia acea halucinantă rămase în continuare…

- Pe sâmbătă… a venit şi răspunsul meu, întârziat doar cu câteva ore. 

Da, cum să nu. Tot de câteva ore exerses scriind, descriind şi rescriind insuflurile creatoare devenite clişee, asteptandul totuşi pe al meu. Ridic din nou pixul închizând şi deschizându-l. Din nou, recunosc melodia, dar acum fără să mă fascineze. Încetez să-l fac să scoată sunete şi îl învârt cu dibăcie printre degete. Sunetul sacadat apare din nou, iar jocul lumină-umbră se accentuează. Scenariul creat îmi aminteşte de o paradigmă de ordinea labirintului - una din care nu poţi ieşi fără mult efort... Totul se îmbină perfect: culoarea, lumina, umbra, melodia... Astfel

Ridic pixul la nivelul ochilor într-o încercare de a-l studia. Lumina orbitoare a lămpii diametral opusă faţă de pix nu mă orbeşte, obiectul fiindu-mi păvază.

Imediat ce am terminat de scris ultima frază apăs File, Save As, PDF şi, înainte să apăs Save, tastez în spaţiul destinat titlului:

Concurs (cu mine însumi) sau Alter ego

Sketch *3

Fata ridică braţul pe verticală până la nivelul ochilor mei, acţiune menită să îmi atragă atenţia asupra unei pete uşor verzuie, pe care de altfel nu aş fi observat-o dacă nu aş fi ştiut în prealabil de existenţa ei. Vestita vânătaie (motiv al extensivului monolog de introducere ce dură mai bine de o oră) fusese obţinută prin presarea mâinii de uşa unui tramvai, aglomeraţia şi o frână bruscă cauzând colapsul unui ins de dimensiuni augumentative (creatură supranumită „batoza” în vocabularul nu tocmai variat al fetei) peste „victima inocenta” ce nici măcar nu şi-a primit scuzele. 

 Cu acest gest încheie discursul şi aşteptă remarcile mele compătimitoare. Uitându-mă mai atent la braţul ei, vânataia deveni din ce în ce mai accentuată (precum un obiect în întuneric asupra căruia te concentrezi). Dar după o oră de ascultat problemele unei fete pe care abia o cunoscusem şi de care mă apropiasem din motive pur fizice, frustrarea căpătase nuanţe obsesive, mintea mea lucrând într-un mod regresiv, tipic animalic - bazat pe instincte. Degetele mâinilor mi se încordau, pentru a se relaxa, ca apoi să se încordeze din nou precum ghearele retractibile a unui pisoi gata să sară asupra prăzii. Mi-am întins mâna prinzându-i cu gentileţe braţul, plimbându-mi degetul mare în jurul vânătăii. Fata fu surprinsă pentru o clipă, pentru ca apoi să scoată un icnet: într-o dezlănţuire inumană am apăsat pe pata verde ce îmi provocase un interes indescriptibil. Gestul brutal cauză braţul fetei să zvâcnească într-o încercare disperată de a se elibera. Actul sadic mă scoase din transa animalica, raţiunea punând ordine în mintea ce pentru câteva momente pierduse controlul asupra corpului. Având grijă să nu îi provoc altă durere am ţinut-o cu fermitate de braţ împiedicându-i retragerea. Uimită de rezistenţa opusă de mine fata rămase blocată - timp de slăbiciune dar propice analizării situaţiei, pe care eu am refuzat să i-l ofer. Apropiindu-mi buzele de braţul fetei, sărutul vânătăii declanşă în fată un tremur ce dură numai o clipă. După numai o scurtă atingere i-am dat drumul. 

 Văzându-i expresia ameţită mi-am întins mâna spre faţa acesteia, îndepartând o şuviţa ce în urma tremurului antecedent îi căzuse pe obraz. Atingerea intenţionata provocă un al doilea şoc ce o făcu să-şi revină din starea împietrită în care se afla. Înroşindu-se plecă capul, reacţie ce aduse un zâmbet indulgent pe faţa mea. Înainte să mă ridic de pe banca pe care stăteam, m-am apropiat de urechea ei, soptindu-i:

 - O vorbă din popor spune că acest act alungă durerea...

 Simtind nevoia sa las in urma aceasta experienta, un dus m-a ajutat se indeplinesc ritualul.

 

Sketch*2

     Îşi întoarse capul spre dreapta-jos făcând să pară că se uită în gol, arandjandu-şi pe faţă o expresie melancolică. Lăsă mâna dreaptă moale pe lângă corp şi cu cea stânga prinse cotul celuilalt braţ. Poziţia se potrivea perfect cu conceptul pe care designerul de modă îl avea în minte: Eşec în dragoste. Hainele erau o combinaţie de negru-alb-roşu. O cămaşa roşie - bineînţeles, complet descheiată, o vestă albă, pantaloni de costum negri şi pantofi. Bineînţeles, această îmbrăcăminte se adresa celor ce voiau să fie şi eleganţi când li se dă papucii ~ cel puţin asta gândea tânărul model.
       - Ceva lispeste... 
       - Cum adică? întrebă neliniştit băiatul la remarca fotografului.
       - Ah, nu te teme. Poza ta e perfectă, se potriveşte de minune, dar cred că mai trebuie ceva ca totul să aibă un aer romantic-trist...
       - Ce spuneţi de ploaie? sugeră unul din asistenţi.
       - Un pic clise... Dar poate merge. Adu-mi...
       Restul propoziţiei fu şoptită şi băiatul nu o auzi. Asistentul - al cărui nume nu-l reţinuse - se îndepărtă şi ieşi pe usa platoului. Deşi era curios modelul nu întrebă - doar fotograful era artistul, ştia el ce face. După ceva vreme asistentul se întoarse având în mână un obiect ce nu-l putu identifica din cauza reflectoarelor ce îl orbeau. Fotograful luă obiectul şi se apropie de tânăr. Atunci acesta îşi dădu seama ce era - o găleata! Fotograful aruncă apa din găleata pe băiat, udându-l leoarcă. Deşi era surprins, acesta nu îşi schimbă poziţia sau expresia faciala - anii de exerciţiu arătau profesionalismul tânărului.
       - Acum eşti ud. Adaug eu efectul ploii şi background-ul  mai târziu. Acum să facem poze! rânji bărbatul.
       După câteva ore fotograful fu în sfârşit satisfăcut şi declară sesiunea gata.  Tânărul model se schimbă repede şi îşi sună managerul. În nu mai mult de 10 minute acesta apăru.
       - Hey! De ce a durat atât? întreba managerul îngrijorat. Şi de ce eşti ud?!
       - Aa, nu contează. Important e că şedinţa foto a fost un succes. Fotograful era foarte mulţumit! zâmbi băiatul.
       - Atunci e bine. Bravo! îi raspuse managerul cu un zâmbet. Păi, cam asta a fost pe azi. Eşti liber pentru restul zilei.
       - Perfect.
 

_______

Bine-inteles, nu am uitat sa-mi exersez abilitatile de a scrie in romana. Sketch 2. Hope u enjoyed it:D

Sketch*1

    The young man propped himself on the left elbow while laying down on the left side, trying to refresh himself with the improvised paper-fan.  Soon his right hand started to hurt so he gave up on fanning and let his hand to rest. Although it was mid-afternoon the cicadas where chinking loud and no other sound could be heard. It seemed as if the whole village had went to sleep. Well that probably was it; as most adults go to work only the elderly and the youngsters remain home and on such heat you can be sure they either went to sleep or just hid themselves from the sun...   
    “I hoped summer holiday would be a lot more fun... never have I thought I’d spend my summer stuck at my grandparent’s...” the boy mumbled to himself. “God, it’s so bloody HOT!!! And these cicadas won’t shut up!!! And I’ve nothing to do!!!”
    “Hey, what are you?!  A kid or something?! Stop whining!” his grandmother silenced him. “I thought you had cut your eyeteeth long ago!”
    “What, is it my fault that you have no air conditioner at the country-side?!” the boy took the defence stance.
    “You came here in such a long while and you just idle around... Can’t believe I even missed you. When your mother asked me to let you stay here for the summer I immediately accepted...”
    “Ok, ok you won!!! What do you want?” the boy sighed as he stood up.
    “Oh well, I just need one little favour” the old lady told him, changing back her tone from angry to the old lady tone.
    “You could’ve just asked me to do it for you, not start a quarrel!”
    “Oh, stop whining! You need to get some guts, you’re too much of a weakling. I bet you’re even scared of the dogs. Do girls even come close to you?”
    “Stop hitting so low! And it’s not my fault I got a weak body!”
    “Yeah, yeah I know.”
    “So, what do u want me to do, anyway?” asked the boy with a bored voice, faking a sigh, as he was following his grandmother to the kitchen.
    “Open a pickle jar.”
    “... HUH?! You made me get up just to open a jar?!”
    “Yes, I just thought it would be nice eating pickles with you... But if you don’t want... To think that my own grandson won’t eat pickles with me!” grandma said on a dramatic tone.
    “Ok, ok! I got it, so stop doing that! What are you, a drama queen?!”
    “Ha-Ha-Ha! You have no chance of winning against me so why do you even try?”
    “I wonder myself...”
    The boy sighed again. He liked his grandmother a lot. She was open minded and, although old, she acted as if she was still a teenager – though he wasn’t sure if that was good or bad. Yet, whenever she started quarrelling just to show him she’s better it pissed him off so much! In those moments he could only think how immature she could be and why couldn’t she act like her age. And whenever it didn’t seem to get her way she started acting like an old lady.
    “So where is it?” he asked as soon as they reached the kitchen.
    “Up there.” she showed him.
    He stretched his hand and got the jar then easily opened it.
    “Come on, why did you get me anyway? It was way easy to open!”
    “How could I know that? It was up there!” she said in her defence.
    “So the problem wasn’t that you’re not strong enough but that you’re short!”
    “Watch your mouth young lad!” she shouted, embarrassed, from the boy’s point of view.
    “Yeah, sure. Here’re the pickles. Can I go back to idling on the veranda now?”
    “Sure” the old lady said and she continued savouring her pickles.


_________________


writer's note: So this is one of the short sketches I''ve been working on lately. Instead of doing a big large work I want to train myself for writing about different situations. Hope you like it.

Circumstances

Blue.  No other colour. Just blue. A blue so bright, so intense that it hurt my eyes, forcing the eyelids to close so as to protect them. But I stubbornly coerced them to reopen just to be able to admire it more. I was ready to sacrifice my own sight just to let myself be fascinated, even entranced by this endless, clear… warm… blue sky? Indeed, so warm that it was contradictory.  It was a warm coolness… Peace. That’s the word! That sky blue was the embodiment of peace…
“Dai! Come back! It’s dangerous!”
I closed my eyes trying to ignore Jar but he started yelling even more.
“Daaaai! Come on, I know you can hear me! Dai!”
As he started getting annoyed, I rose, sitting in the boat. The water started trembling almost imperceptible, but causing the rowboat to swing. As soon as the shacking stopped I looked at the far shore where Jar was standing stiff looking worriedly at me. He always worries too much… at least this is my impression of him for now.
“How is sitting in a rowboat dangerous?” I shouted at him.
“Even if it might not look like it, this lake is rather deep. So don’t go so far from the shore!”
Seriously… I lay down back again, trying to get that peaceful feeling back. Although I didn’t want to admit it out loud, I needed it. Those past few months had been way too disturbing for him… Although he finally started accommodating with the new circumstances, he still was well shaken. He couldn’t concentrate so he stood up again and started rowing back to the shore.
“Why did you go so far? I was so worried!” Yeah, sure. As if he would really be able to come to care for me in such a short time.
“Sorry. I didn’t realise it was so dangerous…”
“Never mind, thank God you’re safe and sound. You may go rowing, but please don’t peril yourself like that again!”
“I’ll keep that in mind” I smiled at him and headed for the cottage.
The huge two floor rustic looking building was fitting perfectly with the scenery surrounding it. The red brick house with a huge wooden  roof seemed to grow out of the earth as naturally as the coniferous trees that surrounded it on 3 sides. At a certain distance (I guessed there were at least 500 metres) behind it all of a sudden the mountain sprang out of the ground stunningly, as if sculpted. Yet, in front of it was a far-reaching meadow with a widespread clear lake somewhere on the left, fed by a splashing brook. But the inside of the house was nothing like the outside. The only thing that could make you remember that you are at the mountain side was the view from the windows, as the inside had nothing that could help one tell it apart from the main manor or the family. All the luxuriant furniture and the purple ceramic tiles were there. None was missing. I went straight for the grand staircase and climbed to the second storey. I passed through the long hallway and stopped in front of a wood room door and opened it. I entered my large room and lay down on my bed. The amethyst sheets matched perfectly with the lavender bed curtains, making me feel at ease. At home, I always had my parents paint my room in lavender, so now I was feeling relaxed... Although I initially thought this colour would remind me of those painful memories, my favourite colour didn’t betray me, and helped me relax, forget all about it. It didn’t take much and I fell asleep, even though I wasn’t that tired.
I was standing in front of me. But I was somewhat different... somehow... darker... Not that the me in front of myself was any different looks-wise, but he seemed darker... Maybe the expression on my face made me seem like that. I was sad, annoyed at that me, but I knew he was right... I couldn’t remember what we were talking about but I had the feeling that we were having a dispute for quite a while...
“They abandoned you!”
“They had no other choice!” I tried to defend them.
“Are you sure? They didn’t seem to care any bit!” he groaned at me and violently pointed somewhere at his right, without averting his glare from me. I looked where he showed me: a very familiar and painful scene. My dad telling me nonchalantly that I was to leave the house as they couldn’t afford to sustain me anymore while my mom was gently caressing my baby brother, looking at me almost with disgust.
“It has nothing to do with it. They did it for my own welfare!”
“Hah, you’re so pathetic. Why do you keep asserting them? Can’t you remember what they told you? They wanted to get rid of you! They were happy to do it!” and he once again waved his hand violently, adding sound to the moving images: << “We don’t have the money to support you and your three little brothers.” “Then I’ll also work!” “How? You have a weak physique and the only thing you can do is study. We can’t send you to school and even if we could I’d prefer saving the money for your brothers who have much more potential” “But...” “Don’t you dare say anything against your father! He’s right and you can’t do anything else! What do you know?! I shouldn’t have ever given birth to a both stupid and ill mistake like you!”>>
“They might’ve said that but they still found a family to adopt me...”
“They found? It’s just because your mother’s judge brother didn’t want any kind of problem like child abandoning in his family!”
“But...” “Be realist! How happy are you now? The Hawthornes have treated you really well… but do they love you? It’s obvious that the care they show is purely theatrical. Face it… you’re not wanted anywhere. You’re not wanted by anyone… you’re not wanted by Jar, or Lisa.”
Although deep down I already knew this, his words inflicted great damage, as if squashing a lemon above the wound… I felt like crying, but couldn’t do it.
And yet a warm overflowing tear stream woke me up. I immediately stood up and hurried to the bathroom in my room. I let the water run and with my palms I splashed water on my face. I looked in the mirror – a pale complexion, red eyes and an unreadable expression (I wondered if this is what they call a poker face…). But I wasn’t always like this. Before I was a cheerful child. Although I always had a weak physique, I always had a tanned skin as I was always playing outside. From times to times I’d faint from exhaustion or sunstroke and so on but I’d never give up. I loved being with others and I liked laughing, I was happy. I was a cry-baby and I easily showed my emotions.
The person I was seeing in the mirror was the complete opposite. I hated myself for becoming like that. But what else could I do? I didn’t want to inconvenience my new “family” and, above all, didn’t want to show my emotions anymore. I didn’t want to be betrayed again. Though I was prepared to open up to the right person 6 months have passed and no one appeared. There were some who tried to crack me up, but... I didn’t trust them yet. Especially Jar.
Jar was my new “big bro”. I had always been the eldest brother but when I was adopted by the Hawthorne family I also got two brothers. An elder one, Jarrett, and a younger one, Kris. The parents I rarely met as they were always on a business trip. Oh, did I mention they were one of the richest families in the country? But doesn’t matter... One of the few people who tried to make myself open up (like teachers, classmates and servants) was Jar. He always seemed to be concerned about me, and I knew he was kind. I admired and liked him, and I knew I could come to love him. But I also knew that he was concerned because he thought he was responsible for me and because his parents asked him to look out for me. And also, I knew he pitied me. All these feelings but not love. He didn’t really think of me as a brother but as a kind of a stray cat he picked up. He didn’t consider me as family, and although he didn’t show it openly as Kris did, I was more than sure he considered me an annoyance.
Suddenly someone knocked.
“Dai, it’s me. Can you open, please?” Asked Jar with a slightly concerned tone. I wondered what did I do this time and opened him. He came into the room glanced at the room and then looked at me. His worried expression was so obvious that I wondered if it’s fake.
“What happened? You’ve closed yourself in this room ever since yesterday afternoon...”
“Now that you mention it, it really is morning.”
“Did something happen? You’re eyes are red... If it’s about yesterday...”
“Don’t worry! It’s nothing. I just fell asleep and forgot to wake up, that’s all” I said and tried laughing so as to convince him, but it seems I wasn’t very persuasive since he still had the worried look.
“Really, don’t worry! I wouldn’t have a nervous break-down or something just because I was scolded for endangering myself...”
“Ok, then. But please come and have breakfast with us. You didn’t eat anything ever since yesterday, did you?”
“Well, I might be a bit hungry... Ok, I’m comi..”
The simple mentioning of food made my stomach growl and realise I was actually quite hungry. But suddenly I felt I had no energy and my sight turned black. I instinctively stretched my arm to lean on something so as not to fall, but my legs failed me and I would’ve fallen on my back if not for Jar, who caught me on time.
“Dai! Are you ok? You don’t feel well?” asked Jar panicked.
“Sorry, just a bit anaemic, that’s all. I slept for too much. As soon as I eat something I’ll be back on my feet.”
“Ok, then, stay here! I’ll bring you something to eat. Here, stay in bed. I’ll be back in a second!”
“Wait, I can walk now!” But Jar already disappeared behind the door. I stood up and headed for the dinning room. I reached my hand for the latch but stopped midway when I heard Kris’s shouting angry voice:
“So what! So what he is ill or sick or whatever! For all I care, he can go ahead and die! I don’t give a damn! He suddenly barged in our lives and now wants us to call him our “brother”? He’s nothing more than a pauper! Why’d we have to care for him?! You don’t have to lower yourself to a servant and bring his food to bed! He doesn’t deserve it!”
“And do you?!” Jar said calmly but with a tone I had never thought him capable of using. “Watch your mouth! You have been educated better than this. Our parents adopted him and we have to respect their decision whether we want it or not. Now be careful what you do and don’t you dare sadden Dai more than he is. You wouldn’t want to be in his place!”
Just as I thought... oh, why do I care anymore?!
“But...”
“Enough. This subject is over.”
“This is not fair!” I heard the 13 years old boy lament as I opened the door. When I came in both of them turned their eyes at me and in a flicker of a second their expression turned from surprise to embarrassment in Jar’s case and anger, even hatred in Kris’s case. The younger one rushed towards me and I let him run through the door. For a second I thought I saw a tear in his eye. As soon as he left I went ahead and sit at the table which was full of food and started picking randomly – cheese, bacon etc. As I was eating I saw Jar still standing there without saying anything,
“Did you eat?” I asked him as if nothing happened.
“... Sorry for...” he started in a low tone, apologetic, but I interrupted him:
“Drop it” I said as if I was having a normal conversation while eating, and took another helping of eggs.
“Sorry...” he said again, in the same manner, sit at the table and helped himself.


_____________


a.n. : this is the continuation of try.
Dai = Jeff. Didn't like the name(too common) 
I hope you liked (loved:P) and you'll comment:D

Try - Broken Feelings. Try harder

Continuă să alerge. Dar stătea in loc. În stanga sa recuzita şcolară, plantele,  persoanele erau doar culori ce goneau proiectate  de-a lungul vastului alb al peretului. În stânga sa, cerul era albastru cu doar caţiva nori plutind pe acest plan nesfârşit. Această beţie de culori din stanga şi abastrul celest îl ameţeau de-a dreptul, dar continuă sa alerge înainte. Din faţă se apropia cu repeziciune capătul peretului. „După colţ... după colţ... de data asta o să-i spun!”  se opri din alergat, se lăsă în voia inerţiei şi alunecă. Întinse mâna dreaptă spre perete pentru a se opri, întorcându-se cu faţa spre capătul scarilor. Nici nu se oprise bine că începu din nou sa alerge, pe scări de data aceasta, sărind câte doua trepte.  Ajuns la etajul al treilea alergă pe coridor dar încetă pe la jumătatea drumului deoarece ar fi putut fi văzut prin geamurile din clasa a X-a A ce dădeau spre hol. Începu să meargă încet, linistit, incercand sa mascheze faptul ca respira adanc prin tuse repetate pana ce isi reveni. Isi reprima orice emotie de pe chipsi isi tinu umerii cat mai sus pentru a parea cat mai impunator.  Arunca o privire scurta in geamul alaturat pentru a vedea daca ii sta bine frizura si mai tusi o data pentru a-si verifica respiratia. Duse o dată mâna de-a lungul gulerului cămăsii pentru a-l aranja si deschise inca un nasture  pentru a se asigura ca i se vede tricoul stacojiu cu dungi orizontale de aceiasi cuoare cu blugii – un albastru inchis. Ultimul geam – se uită din nou in treacat la păr si duse usor cu mana pentru a-l aranja, dar parand ca se scarpina. Ajunse la usa si tot ce trebui sa faca a fost sa se posteze in partea stanga si Lisa aparu cu o faţa entuziasmata.

-Jeff!  Ce faci!  Cu ce ocazie? A, da! Mi-a palcut melodia de la concurs! Ai o voce superba!

-Multumesc. Mda...  deci, tata m-a rugat sa-ti dau asta, spuse baiatul sec  si ii dadu fetei o carte. Aceasta se posomora pentru o secunda  pentru ca apoi sa-si recapete lumina de pe chip.

-Multumesc mult! Imi pare rau ca a trebuit sa cobri tu, as fi putu veni eu! spuse aceasta cu o voce mai linistita si ii zambi baiatului. Apropo, draguta camasa! Zise fata zambind larg dupa care ii intoarse spatele baiatului si se indrepta spre locul ei. Ne mai vedem! exclama intorcand capul, dupa care isi continua „drumul” spre banca.

Baiatul se uita la ea si murumura un „Ok” abia perceptibil dupa care se intoarse in clasa, fara sa alerge,  cu o fata usor dezamagita. Din nou, doar culori apareau de-a lungul peretilor albi dar care de data aceasta nu goneau ci aproape stateau in loc in timp ce el parea ca alearga. Intra in clasa goala si se aseza in banca sa. Isi lua cartile si caietele din banca si le puse in geanta. Ridica geanta si ii displacu greutatea acesteia. Murmura „light” si isi cotinua drumul spre iesirea din scoala.  La plecare se intalni din nou cu Liza dar doar ii dadu din cap in timp ce se indeparta tinand geanta pe umar cu un singur deget. Isi intoarse capul odata doar pentru a se asigura ca ea nu se uita, fapt ce se dovedi fals - ea se uita exact la el.  Isi intoarse capul repede si mari pasul. Ajuns la poarta totusi se mai uita odata, cu coltul ochiului. De data aceasta Lisa nu mai era acolo. Merse tot inainte aproape indignat. Ii voia atentia. O voia doar pentru el. Dar cum putea sa o acapareze daca abia putea scoate un cuvant de fata cu ea? Un singur lucru era de facut „ I just gotta try harder”

Thorns of an Iris: Chapter 1 - Screams, flames, death, new world ~ Prologue

           As the sun was setting, everyone was going towards their home. Another day ended. Hoping for the welfare of tomorrow, they would approach the statue of the goddess and pray thankfully for their life and ask for another good day.

            Every night was like this for the commoners of Saint Land, the floating island of the goddess. The same world, happy world, always tranquil where nothing special ever happened. But its inhabitants liked it. They didn’t want it to change. They had a peaceful, happy life on it.

            But that would end. For the first time, a strange thing happened: a huge noise followed by a powerful light. No one noticed it, but the ones living at the royal palace. Only they would know. Why is that? you may ask. Because the Iris Castle was separated from the rest of the town. It was placed on a mountain, hidden by a forest.

          But what happened? All the people inside the castle started a general ruckus. What could’ve happened? Then the first scream:

“Fire!” Then slowly more and more powerful:

“Fire? Where? Oh, no! Fire! Bring water!” 

Everyone was running in all directions, accomplishing nothing. But then the powerful voice of the head of the family stopped them:

“Calm down, everyone! Now, do as I say: firstly, some men take all the women and children out of the castle and send them to the town;  secondly, other go and bring water; the men that have nothing else to do help me take out the fire!”

            All listened to him and did as they were told. They extinguished the fire quickly. “Yeeees!” they would all scream happily. “But I wonder what could’ve started it…” thought the head of the family. But just as he said it, someone cried aloud:

“Look there! Fire!”

“There too!”

 “It’s impossible for the fire to spread that quickly! said the head of the family. Only if… it can’t be!”

“Look there!” someone shouted.

“Wolfram family’s dragons! They’ve come to help us!”

“Hmm… but how did they know we are in trouble? We’re on the other side of the mountain!” said Gonzo, one of the buttlers. As soon as he said those words an arrow pierced through his chest and through his heart.

“Gonzo!” the head of the family cried.

“No time to watch out for others, is there Ares?”

“William! What’s the meaning of this? Explain yourself!”

“You rush into questions as always, don’t you? What does it seem to you? Why, a coup d'état of course!”

“You idiot! Are you trying to anger the goddess?”

“What would you know about the goddess?”

“Much more than you think!”

The Wolfram family’s head looked at the other nobleman with disgust and shouted:

“Your  reign is now over!”

“William! You don’t know what you are doing! Stop this craziness right away!”

“Die, Ares Arius von Wyncote!” yelled von Wolfram and unsheathed his long sword with a quick move and pushed it forward, towards Ares, piercing through his heart.

“Now the throne is mine! All of you! Kill every single one of this family! Woman or child, none shall live!”

            Everywhere there were flames. Everywhere screams could be heard. Everywhere blood could be smelled. Death was everywhere…

            On the top of the mountain a young woman opened her big violet eyes beholding all these and murmured insensitive:

“What will happen now? I’ll watch silently over it… the newly started world…”

Cold Sky ~ part III ~

“Eleven more hours until school starts… I guess I’ll just lie down and stare at the ceiling” and so I did. I just let myself fall down on the bed with my legs hanging over its edge and stared at the white ceiling. “Huh? It’s changing colours? It’s turning purple now… It looks just like the sky back then… back then? When was that? Eh? Déjà-vu? How can it be… Now that I think about it I wasn’t like that before… I started changing ever since… Ever since… when? Changing? What am I thinking about… I am the same as always… right?”

“Who are you trying to deceive? Yourself? You’ve fallen deeper than I thought you would!”

“Why would you say that? Who are you anyway!? How can you say such things if you don’t know me? Why would I have fallen? Where do you see me fallen? I’m as high as always… As close to the sky as always…”

“Who are you trying to fool? Look at you… disgusting… can’t you realize? You’re frozen!”

“Who are you? Show yourself… Rose!?”

“Why did you become like this? You weren’t like this back then…”

“Rose? Rose! Why’d you say this? I don’t understand!”

“You don’t or you don’t want to, Roy?”

“Eh? Roi?  What’s wrong… why…”

“Stop it! Can’t you see it? You’re frozen… Aren’t you cold enough?”

“Cold? Now that you mention it, I really am cold… too cold…  ah, now I remember… this cold purple sky… but it’s no longer distant… it’s close… or I’m close to it; too close… so close that… we’re the same…” Suddenly a water drop woke me. I stood up, turned on the light and looked at my watch – 5.45 a.m. I slept enough… Eh? Tears? Why are the tears overflowing? I don’t even feel anything… I guess that the weird dream is the cause… I’d better wash my face before anyone else wakes up…

“Morning!”

“Good morning, Roy! How was your holiday?” Roi asked with a huge smile on his face.

“Not better than yours as I see” I grinned.

“Eh? I never said how my holiday was!”

“You’re really slow aren’t you? Seriously, it’s written all over your face – especially on that huge happy smile.”

“Heh… no one’s better than you at reading people, are they?”

“You just don’t know enough people, that is all. So? Are you going to tell me what happened?”

“You really want to know?”

“Well, sure. Of course I want to know what made my friend so happy.”

“Do you remember that some time ago you asked me about my girlfriend? To  tell you the truth, back then we weren’t on such good terms… we had a fight… and I was really depressed, but thanks to you I was ok in no time, and I really want to thank you for that!”

“Well, I’m doing what I can.” I said and I can bet I got all red.

“Anyway… this holiday we got back together! So I really am happy right now!”

“Oooh! Nice for you! So, will you introduce me to her?”

“Nope. I’m afraid she’ll like you more than me” he said with mocking tone.

“That’s certainly true. At least tell me her name”

“Why not… She has a very beautiful name: Rosy Fray”

“Eh?” I looked at him surprised. Rose? No wait… he said Rosy… It can’t be her. Also, she didn’t say what her surname is.

“Rosy? What name is that…”

“Huh? I said Rosy? Sorry… how embarrassing… I call her Rosy… Her name is Rose. Rose Fray”

“Wow…” maybe it is her… Or I’m just paranoid.

“Wow what?”

“Nice name” I laughed. ”Now I really want to meet her”

“Is that a threat?” he smiled widely.

 “It depends… Maybe I like her” I laughed again.

“Maybe not.”

§§§§§

    The first day of school was over. “It was fun! I knew that if I’m alone I start thinking about stupid things… Roi’s presence cheered me up…” I was thinking while going to the café again. It wasn’t like I was expecting Rose to show up again, but I had gone there so often that it became a daily routine. I went in and sat at a random table and ordered a <<3 in 1>>. I picked a book from the café’s library (this was added short after I had met Rose; there were many good books and I really liked their collection. I had never thought of reading as an alternative for TV or PC because I never liked the books my teachers made me read, but I found authors I really liked there) and started reading. Time passed more quickly than usually while I was in another universe, so I was quite surprised when the light purple sky became all of a sudden a dark purple night sky. I put the book on the shelf, paid the bill and headed for the exit. I stretched my hand to reach the door handle when it suddenly opened hitting my head. I lost my balance and almost fell down when a firm hand caught me by my hand and put me back on my feet. I looked up disoriented still dizzy, my head aching badly.

“Sorry” the guy apologized.

“Don’t worry, it was just my inattentiveness, so I’m sorry.” Wait…that voice is really familiar…

“Eh?! Roy!” So it was him!

“Roi!  Fancy seeing you here! What are you doing in this neighborhood? I’m sure you said you live on the other side of the town…”

“Oh, my girlfriend said she really liked this café so we came here. Oh, right - Roy, this is my girlfriend, Rose. Rose, this is my friend…”

I looked behind Roi and saw her: Rose was standing next to him and was looking at me surprised, even scared. As soon as Roi turned his glance at me she started making signs – waving her hands, crossing them, shaking her head – but I wasn’t sure what she meant. I was ready to speak up as if we were old acquaintances but she suddenly came to me and shook my hand:

“Nice to meet you! I’m Rose”

Only then did I understand – she didn’t want Roi to know we had met. I played her game:

“Me too! I’m Roy. Um… I was going home now…”

“Eh? Don’t rush, you can stay! I’ve meant to introduce you two to each other for a while now...”

“I still have homework to do. And I wouldn’t like to spoil your date! Oh yeah, here’s my number Rose.– I wrote my phone number on a piece of paper and gave it to her – In case this guy makes you cry, call me and I’ll smack him” I laughed.

“That was uncalled for!” said Roi getting red all the way to his ears.

“Ok, then. I’ll get going, see you guys soon!” and I hurried out before they could even say a word. Rose?! Why did the girl I had been so obsessed with for the past two months have to be my best friend’s girlfriend?! This so not fair! Why… Why… why am I so angry? I kept running at full speed. I didn’t know where I was going nor did I think about it… I just wanted to… run away… to… warm myself… but I was getting colder and colder… I couldn’t bear it… I just wanted to become unseen… to disappear from this world…

Suddenly a blinding light accompanied by a deafening sound startled me and I turned my head to the right … In just a fraction of a second I understood… My life was going to its next stage…a car… a road… and movie like sound and visual effects… “Sorry… guess… cold…”

§§§§§

Sunset... the sun was halved  by the horizon: half belonged to the unseen abyss, half was marking the glorious finale of this world with colour – painting the blue sky.  The view was disturbing; an unknown feeling was entrapping me like a rose that grew from my chest wrapping around myself completely, piercing me with its thorns but blossoming beautiful rose buds.

I looked above, getting my eyes away from the sunset. This part of the sky was painted with an infinite of blue nuances. From my chin to the top of my head the vault of heaven gained darker nuances. This new image put out the fire of the previous feeling, obliging the rose to withdraw.

    I closed my eyes and let myself fall backwards. Whilst falling, I turned 180 degrees and I opened my eyes to the abyss under. Time was flowing slowly... <>. The thought sickened me so I gently shook my head to push it out of my mind and then, bit by bit, I opened my wings. They slowed down my falling leaving behind a mini- Milky Way made of feathers whiter than snow and fluffier than fluff itself. I looked down once again: abyss. With a quick move I wrapped my wings around my body and I let myself fall like a heavy rock, closing my eyes. The falling speed surpassed light speed. I waited what seemed to me like a millennium until I realized that I had reached it…

    I unwrapped my wings. I wanted to see my new world… Before opening my eyes I ran my previous world’s film in my mind… I’ll miss it… but I’m certainly glad I escaped from that cold cage… eh? The cage was cold? No… me! I was cold! But then, did I get warmer? But… I don’t feel it… I don’t feel anything… cold, nor warm… But why? Why did it have to reach this? Because I liked a girl? Liked… more like… obsessed… Huh… so I had to leave my world just for an obsession? What a joke… Hmm… so I really was like that sky… cold…and distant… meant never to meet warmth… and to be ever a purple, night sky… but I really wish to have met it… meet what? Hm... guess I’m taking too long, it’s time… to leave everything behind… and move on!

§§§§§

    I opened my eyes. First thing I understood – I didn’t know where I was.  I tried to stand up but my back was in so much pain that I fell back. What happened? Where am I? I couldn’t think of anything. A nurse came running to me: “Are you ok? Does anything hurt? Of course it hurts; you were hit by a car. But are you alright? Do you need anything?”  I started laughing:

“You really are talkative, Mrs.….?”

“Miss Thompson. You are Roy Hawking, you remember? And how can you be so rude when I’m worried about you? Learn some manners!”

“Ok, ok! I’m sorry!” I said, still laughing. “Nice to meet you, Miss Thompson.”

“Nice to meet you too. So, I’m going to tell the doctor that you’re awake, so please stay still, alright?”

“I can’t even move because of the pain so, ok” I shouted to her while she was running away, to make sure she hears me.

Afterwards I learned what happened to me. It seems that while I was running aimlessly, I tried to cross a street while it was still red and even stopped in the middle of the street. My parents were sued and they even had to pay for the car repair. I got into hospital in a coma, with most of my ribs broken, and with a leg (left one) and hand (right one) also broken. I had to stay for two weeks in hospital. Roi visited me several times, but he left soon enough. I didn’t tell him anything about my “obsession” as I had already got past it and there was no point in telling him anything. Curious about how I got past it? Ok, I’ll tell you.

One day, while I was in hospital (I could already sit) Rose came to see me. I was thinking that I’d be really excited to see her…but… she sat there and smiled at me… a sad smile; I could see that she really pitied me. I didn’t need her pity! I wanted to tell her to leave the room. It wasn’t her pity that I needed! Didn’t want… but I couldn’t chase her away. All of a sudden she started speaking:

“How are you?”

“As you can see, I am doing very well! The bandages are just for show…”

“I see you didn’t lose your sense of humor” she laughed. “Hey…”

“Mm?”

“Thanks for not telling Roi that we had met… It… really means a lot to me…”

“Why? Why don’t you want Roi to know about it?” I asked a bit accusative. She started laughing… a very sad laugh.

“Me and Roi have known each other since childhood. Although I am older than him, I was able to see how he became a man. And a man of trust… I just couldn’t help falling in love with him… But then, he left back to Germany because of his father’s business. I really missed him. We were around… 12 years old and then, last year, he finally came back. Do you know the first thing he did when we met again?”

“What?”

“He said: who are you?” she tried to mimic Roi’s voice and then started laughing.

“So like him!” I laughed too.

“But do you know what he said then?” she asked with a melancholy tone, looking at the window, but seeing the past. “<> When he said that my heartbeat increased… it was beating so hard that it hurt. Tears overflowed and I hugged him tightly… He then took my chin in his palm and turned my face to him. He wiped my tears and said: <> but he certainly knew… he kissed me! A kiss so sweet that I never wanted to let go of it. I wanted us to remain like that… to become an everlasting painting…”  She smiled a very warm smile. So different from the one she had when pitying me. So that was the difference between me and him… why I was so jealous of Roi… men are skies… but they need a sun to warm them up. He already had it… a sun of his own! When I realized this all my jealousy turned into respect… and admiration!

“Wow… you really love Roi, don’t you?” I smiled very warmly at her. “I hope he’ll make you happy! You deserve it!”

She blushed and turned to the other side so that I won’t see it… but she was really transparent.

“I still haven’t told you the reason why I didn’t want you to tell Roi about it. Do you remember that night when we met? We had a fight and I slipped meeting you, and he got really annoyed and then…”

“Halt! Halt! Keep your horses! I’m so not interested in this. But, I’m telling you this so that you know: Roi was really down when I met him and was so for a whole while. I think that you can understand why. Anyway, just forgive him!”

“I’ve already done it” she laughed.”Anyway, thanks for listening and I hope that you’ll get better soon. Well, if you have so much energy in you, I bet it’ll take shorter for you to get well” She smiled (a happy smile this time) and I smiled back at her. “Ok then, I got to go. See you soon!”

“Yeah, see you!”

I was really happy after she left. I don’t know why, but I had reached a higher level in understanding life… I felt better.

“Your girlfriend?” said Miss Thompson suddenly appearing from behind a curtain.

“No!” I laughed.”Anyway, Miss Thompson, it isn’t right to “overhear” someone’s conversation!”

“Don’t worry, I wasn’t listening. I just came in, but you were lost in your thoughts and didn’t hear me coming. If she is not your girlfriend, then…?”

“She’s my best friend’s girlfriend… Well, I have to admit, I had feelings for her too”

“You had? Not anymore?”

“Not anymore.”

“Why?”

“It’s a long story. You don’t want to hear the revelations of a teenager over love.”

“Did the accident have anything to do with it?”

“Um… it kind of did?”

“Then it concerns me”

“You are really sneaky” I laughed. “Why would it concern you if the accident had anything to do with it?”

“Well, I was the one who had to take care of you for two weeks after it, so I think you owe me at least an explanation…”

“Annoying and convincing. Men’s worst enemy” I said while laughing. Then, I suddenly got serious and begun my tale: “These are the words she told me when I first met her... of course, <> was what she told me I was. But since then I became infatuated with her. She has been on my mind every single second of my daily life ever since. I wouldn’t call it love... more like an obsession.”
“Obsession? Why not love?”
“Love is something deep... a real feeling. When you love, there must be a second person involved – you must think about that person also, but in a certain way. You must want for that person the best of this world. While in my obsession, I could only think about myself – I wanted to see her, I  wanted her to be with me. This is not a real feeling. This is just something that flies away with the first strong wind...”
“Oh, I see what you mean...”
“But then, I met someone else too, someone who became my best friend. But, although I really liked him, I also hated him. He wasn’t better than me a school, or sports... but had something... something I didn’t have. Although at first he was mostly sad, I could see it. He was warm. I was cold. We were exact opposites. And then, one day, he introduced me to his girlfriend – the one I had been infatuated with for more than 2 months. I was angry. I was sad. I was tired... tired of life. After I left them, I started running aimlessly. I didn’t care where I would get”
“And then you had that accident?”
“Yeah.”
“Wow... I had forgotten how being a teenager is” the nurse laughed.
“Yeah, it’s really hard. But one can manage if he evolves steadily, can’t one?”
“Wow, you know your things. But one more thing: why did you give up on...that girl?”
“I think I told you about the difference between obsession – or passion, as it is often called - and love” I laughed.
“You did tell me, but usually you give up much easily on “love” than on “passions” as in love you want the person you love to have “the best of the world” as you said it.”
“Hm... I think I have realised that I don’t want to be stuck with this. The accident made me realise something: I want someone for myself that would tell me: <<If you are the cold sky, then let me be the sun that warms you!>>”
The End

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Ok, folks, this is it!!! it's been a long time(September to March - 7 months) Thanks a lot for staying with me for so long!! I hope I haven't wasted you time and that y'all understood what I meant. Anyway, thanks a lot and I hope you will be just as supportive with my next project!

Daniel